Unbreakable CEO, a new video series chronicling the adventures of Spartan founder and CEO Joe De Sena, premiered on Wednesday on Spartan's YouTube channel. (You can watch the full episode above.)
The pilot features Joe's trip to Sparta, Greece, in which he spends time with the city's mayor and actor Gerard Butler, among other fascinating figures. Joe's trip, and world, are turned upside down after President Donald Trump closes the United States borders to mitigate the worsening COVID-19 pandemic.
The episode is full of hilarious, ridiculous, motivating, inspiring Joe-isms. We've selected nine of our favorites — it was not easy narrowing it down to nine — and provided a bit of commentary and color.
These are the greatest hits.
"I secretly want to be Leonidas, I think." (1:10)
Joe says this upon landing in Sparta, Greece. Whenever he finds himself in ancient Sparta, perhaps his favorite place — it's either that or the farm in Pittsfield, Vermont — Joe finds himself taking on the persona of the legendary warrior king. "Don't tell anyone," he warns.
"I'm trying to get in touch with Djokovic, the tennis player, right now because he believes that the Serbians are Spartans." (1:47)
"Djokovic, the tennis player." We love this line because he's casually referring to Novak Djokovic (hilariously pronounced wrong), perhaps the greatest tennis player of all time. No big deal. Maybe the next calls will be to Federer and Nadal. Were there Swiss and Spanish Spartans?
"I've got 12 hours before I can get out of here. The trip's gonna be cut short, and I gotta go. First order of business: burpees." (2:34)
This was Joe's reaction upon hearing that President Trump was closing the borders. So to recap: The world is in turmoil, Joe's much-anticipated trip has been drastically cut short, and he might be stuck in Sparta. So, naturally, he decides to do burpees. Who wouldn't do that?
"It's obviously a beautiful place. People come from all over the world to relax and spend time at this place. It's just not my thing." (3:50)
Joe is speaking of the Euphoria Retreat, a magnificent, stunning five-star spa and hotel. Joe acknowledges its beauty, but is quick to point out that it's off-brand for him, and he doesn't fit in there. Joe, just take an hour and enjoy yourself!
"Look, if I am gonna get a massage, it's gotta be f***ing rough." (4:17)
In the same vein, Joe is not going to get a massage unless it's next level. "They've gotta dig in elbows and baseball bats," he explains. "It's gotta be like a Spartan massage."
"For me, relaxing is carrying a rock up and down the mountain, early in the morning. That's the equivalent, for somebody else, of getting a massage." (7:15)
Who doesn't love waking up early, grabbing hold of a rock, and hurling it up and down a mountain when they're exhausted? There's nothing more soothing...
"Joe De Sena's not the only guy carrying around a kettlebell." (10:08)
So too is actor Billy Zane, of Titanic fame, who dined with Joe in Sparta. "The guy is clearly a Spartan," Joe says. What a fantastic, random cameo.
"Guys ... start eating. What are we doing? You f***ing kidding me?" (10:25)
This line didn't make the episode's final cut, but we liked it so much that we kept it in our final list of nine. Joe said this at a fancy dinner hosted by the mayor of Sparta, and including such guests as Butler and the aforementioned Zane. It's getting later ... and later ... and Joe is getting a bit agitated. He likes to eat early and go to sleep early. So what does he do prior to the meal? Orders food, and eats it at the bar, while everyone else is waiting. What a move.
"I'm not getting dressed up. First of all, I don't even travel with a suit." (11:26)
At the same dinner, Joe is surrounded by celebrities and dignitaries, all of whom are dressed to the nines. All except Joe, of course, who is wearing his trusty Spartan Combat Sports hoodie. Only he could pull that off.
Unbreakable CEO airs Wednesdays at 11 a.m. on Spartan's YouTube channel.